I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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