hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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