That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My sheets look like a crime scene.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Randomize
