apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
