Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize