she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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