Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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