Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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