somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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