i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
