Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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