who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
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When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
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17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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