Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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