Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
