I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize