If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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