I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
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Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
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Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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