just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
