If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
