I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just leave with hair like that
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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