I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
