cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
