Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
