i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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