you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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