when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
