she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Hippo gnu deer
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
