I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
