did you get engaged???
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
