is your mom at the bar?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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