maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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