why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
