Fuck appropriateness.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
