whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
