are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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