it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
