My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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