If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
