So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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