...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
