You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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