the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize