3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
the night ended with taco bell and tears
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
