Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
