Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
