google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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