ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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