She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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