If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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