if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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