This is not my ceiling
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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