how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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