new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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