Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
That accounts for only three of the penises
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize