"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
