question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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