hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
