just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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