I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
