home. puking in laundry basket.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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