I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
