hell yes lets make some ravioli
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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