I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
