I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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