im so drunk with asians
where?
always
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
This house was built for laser tag.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize