Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
