If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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