South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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